i better blow my nose harder…

I heard Buses and Trains on the radio this morning, and I can't help but reminisce about that time when i felt so hopelessly in love with someone from my college past. if i get to thinking of the silliest of silly things i've done during those days, i also can't help but think "was i really that stupid before?" hmmm…maybe. maybe not. it depends.

i used to always long for that fairy tale-like love story to happen to me. i have always been a no boyfriend-since-birth (NBSB) girl, until i crossed path with Athan. i have always enjoyed the company that i keep with myself. always been just ME. and being an NBSB person, i have always wanted to experience the LOVE thing too, despite finding contentment in being single!

i have had my share of those "heartaches" that people of my type go through. and that song i mentioned earlier is reminiscent of what i've always gone through. boys could still be the sweetest fun…

i never committed to anyone. i never saw myself before getting involved with anyone…maybe that was the reason i never had a boyfriend in my entire life as a pre-Conti. sad huh? not really. like i have said, i enjoyed singlehood. i went on a couple of dates before but just that. and that was because of that someone from my college past. he knows himself. i got to confess right after college. and he took it nicely and even continued being friends with me. cool huh? that cool i managed to get over the whole thing kinda easily. be brave again to venture into a real relationship. no longer made up. no longer longed for.

did i ever regret those 2 years i spent hoping he'd love me back? and shrugging off the thought of entertaining other guys who may have made a difference or two in my life as an NBSB? i did not. certainly. because that experience has taught me a lesson, that you can't always get what you want. it's never both. just either or. i had his friendship; therefore, i couldn't have his heart. that was how i interpreted it.

and that was a long time ago. i have moved on…i am happy with what i have. i did get both of Athan's friendship and heart, though. maybe that was an exception. one proof that this thing that we have going for more than 2 years now is for real and for good. i am happy. everything else falls back into their proper places eventually. good to know that right? right!